Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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