just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
