if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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