so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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