Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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