There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
