The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i out mim tonsoeep
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
