Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
