i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
