Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
