watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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