White coat. Heels.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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