It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
