he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
