if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
