I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
