you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
