We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
