New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
