my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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