Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
they need to just BURY HIM!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He did a backflip because drugs
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
