he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
