i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
