I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
