i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
