I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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