I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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