He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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