PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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