I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
