We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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