somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
