Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
where are my eyebrows?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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