we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
