I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
