i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Are my feet made of real feet?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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