can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
