we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
