So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize