Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
