two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
