I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He better not be in your backpack
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
