He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
