All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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