He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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