whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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