Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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