I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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