i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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