she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize