What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
