How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
