I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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