God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
