Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I am mentally ready for anal.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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