Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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