Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She said her name was "party"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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