You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
