East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
