So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize